When I adopted Ida from the local shelter 3 years ago, I had no idea that our journey would be so twisty-turny. At the time, I was at the top of Mount Stupid; having successfully rehabilitated a leash-reactive dog, I thought I could tackle any behaviour problem. In hindsight, that was incredibly naive. (I also am not sure I was wrong, but that could fill its own post).
All stories have their ups and downs, but sometimes the extent of our downs were, well... extreme. When I met the cute, playful puppy in the shelter, all I saw was the classes we'd take, the agility courses we'd run, and some of the ribbons we might take home. That she might not be able to do those things never even crossed my mind.
When I first noticed she was so anxious in the car, wide-eyed and shaking just sitting in the parked garage, I struggled with what to do. I really wanted to keep playing agility, but every drive felt like I was torturing her to do an activity that was really for me. I didn't know how to handle the baggage that came with it. I felt guilt constantly. And I felt like a failure because I wasn't able to train my dog to be comfortable in the car, which millions of dogs can do without any special training at all. So more than 2 years ago, I started this blog to externalize the struggles that I was having with a young dog who stole my heart while also breaking it.
Well, Ida and I have come a long, long way since then.
Some of our accomplishments have been documented here. And they are accomplishments, even though many dogs can do with ease the things that we've worked towards for years. But since I started this blog, I found my tribe - a group of dog people with a shared philosophy, and I have been celebrating with them more, and posting here less.
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| Ida's journey: from rolling to rally. |
But the more time I spent with "dog people", the more I see people going through what we are. I think back to how I have felt - and still sometimes feel - on this journey with Ida: it can be incredibly isolating to be a "dog person" with a dog who can't do "dog things", even with an accepting, supportive tribe.
So, I am reviving this blog. I want better document our journey and what it's like to live with and love an anxious dog. I want to write about our failures and our successes, but also about my thoughts and self-discoveries made a long the way.
Maybe other dog handlers who are also struggling with their difficult dogs will find it; and maybe it well help you feel not quite so alone.
Even when you think you're finished - it's not over yet.
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